I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We got so high we made milksteak
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
