so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
