So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
