she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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