Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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