we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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