so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
