just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
