Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
