I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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