he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
