we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
