11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
