Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
