But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
