he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
