Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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