return my video game
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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