i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
