I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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