i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
