you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Randomize
