she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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