GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
