wanna go halves on a baby?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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