lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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