Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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