He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
