dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
third nipple confirmed
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
