at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
