I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
