Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
