Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
