I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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