when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
