I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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