And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
