i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
