So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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