I am in a vortex of obligation.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
