3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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