I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
