Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
