I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
