is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
