Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
