Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
