Got a toothbrush?
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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