Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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