If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
