just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
